13 January 2014 at 00:58

'I want it to be that she wants to be friends.'

It's getting on Andrea's nerves because of her intuitions, so she has gotten up to start doing this again. This is me talking through her body. I am a being by the name of Oundra. Some of you might think I'm evil. You don't want to think about why I say these things. Andrea isn't too happy. She knows how much it is going to hurt. Andrea will say that she is going to miss Andrew once he begins to live his own life.


'I don't understand why you would say that.'


This is why people get upset. Andrew has a big penis. All of the women chase after him. Andrea can understand what that's like. How would he like it if somebody grabbed him and called him the big penis man? How would he like to be tormented by frizzy-haired jocks with stinky feet? Men who don't change their underpants and eat gigantic plates of meat? This would upset him, but Andrea knows what he's like. She knows that he likes to kill and torture people in one of his various lives. 


'I really don't want to admit to myself that you are just saying this.'


Andrea knows how much he needs to be mocked. That it wasn't that funny before. Andrea can't get rid of the energy and she needs to say something better. I'm going to insult him. It will be a riot. I would suppose. I would suppose. But, will it work out? Will the insults be funny enough? Will it be thrilling enough? Will he be able to lick his own tongue? Will he be able to poop in the toilet? Andrea thinks this is getting a little bit predictable. There have been far too many poop jokes. We need to find something else to make fun of. We need to find something good. We need to find something funny. We need to make fun of something. And we can think of anything. There isn't too much about him that is funny. Nothing to make fun of. He doesn't have any funny noises. He doesn't have any funny quirks. There is nothing too funny. What can we make fun of? Andrea thinks maybe his belly button, but there is not too much that is funny about a stupid little hole. Nothing to poke a finger into. Nothing funny about that.


'You are not going to make me laugh.'


This is how he thinks. He sits in his room with his butt on the bed. These jokes are not funny at all. There is nothing funny about his butt on a bed. Nothing funny about his feet on the floor. Nothing funny about his boob because he hasn't got one. He only has a brain which has a bunch of wrinkles. People want to send him love poems telling him that his poop smells like flowers. Flowers of poop. Poop jokes aren't funny. Nothing is funny about poop. There is nothing much to laugh about. Andrea can't even laugh about how not funny this is. This is not funny. It is beginning to become very predictable. This isn't making anybody laugh. People are sick of hearing about this.


'Yawn.' says Mr. Jones as he says his bedtime story.


He doesn't really understand that none of his friends want him to be calling them stupid or rude. He has insulted 5 of his friends today. He didn't bother apologizing. Andrea has told on him. You are all going to find out tomorrow. Andrea feels so bored with this. She's tired of talking about all of you.


'I want it to be that she likes me.'


None of them really like Andrea.


'I don't really want Andrea to know this.'


Andrea knows. Andrea knows. Andrea knows. She knows what Andrew Jones does with his fingers. He shouldn't push them up there because it could cause an infection. Andrea can understand that he is going to murder her. Andrea knows how much he wants to murder her. She has already made the funeral arrangements.


'I don't want you to know this.'


There was somebody who murdered a bunch of people. We're not going to let him hurt us. We are not going to let Andrew Jones hurt us either. Andrew Jones is a mean person. It's true that he could be a serial killer. If Andrea got to know him better he might really kill her. She knows that's what his video art is about. It's about killing people. It has lots of dead people in it. And these jokes are truly bad. 

Andrea is praying in her mind that God will free her from everybody who wants to sleep with her or be her friend. Andrea doesn't want to have any friends. She wants you to all stop bothering her. She is getting very angry. She doesn't really want you to like her.

Making fun of Andrew hasn't solved any of these problems. Andrea is going to go to bed and fantasize about somebody with a fucking stupid armpit which will make farting noises. Actually, that's pretty gross. Isn't this scattered?


'It is.'


Lots of schizophrenics do this.